Ego

We don't take our egos with us when we die. We all know that. Why, then, some of us insist on maintaining the inflated ego and prefer being the arrogant loner in the family, when all the others are begging you to patch up? Why do people spoil the sanctity of the 13th day(after death) of their own mother by participating in a shouting match and yelling and bad mouthing their own sibling and sibling's family? This letter is to the one who caused a lot of pain to people I love a lot.

To the one whose ego is bigger than her brain,
Is your ego more important than the fact that your mother died and this day was the day we remember her? Are you happy now that we will associate this day with how cheaply you behaved rather than mourn the loss of ajji and pray she has found heaven?
When my sister, who must be a good 45 years younger to you, understands how one should behave in civilized society, why can't you? Your 65 years have not given you enough humility to even accept an apology, forget giving one, even when you are wrong. I am amazed at what you will be able to teach your grand kids about your parents, when you treated them like shit in their last days. What will you teach them about family? What example have you set for your 2 children(who are as useless as you are) who have learnt from you that ego is more important than relationships. Will they also treat you like crap the way you did with your old mother? Remember when she, with tears in her eyes, begged you to talk to her, and you turned your dumb-ass head away? Will your stupid daughter do that to you as well? Your younger brother also begged you to speak to your mother. But you have a heart of stone. He had tears in his eyes when you shouted and sullied the memories of your mother on her 13th day. I wish I was there to drag you and throw you out of there. I wish I was there so I could see and learn how not to behave.
I wish I could actually write all this to you. I wish somehow, someone we know reads this and lets you know of the contents. I wish I was there to tell you how disgusted I feel about you.

~Disgusted mourner

Oh, and by the way, wake up, it is 2009 not 1950. Do not torture your DIL for having 3 daughters.

Pretty always hurts!

I have a pair of pretty red shoes. The only pair of red shoes that I own. They are a moderate heel(1.5 inches) and seem to fit me well. Until I start walking in them, that is! The first time I wore them they squished both my pinky toes to a pulp in an hour. Thankfully, I did not have to walk a lot that day, and I was fine. The second time, I wore them with socks, and even though my toes felt stuffed, there was no damage. Yesterday was the third time I wore them. Without socks. I had to walk in them for a couple of blocks to our destination. And what happened? The pinky toes of both my feet were pulverized and are now wrapped up in bandages.

Any footwear that I wear hurts me. I walk with a limp. I cannot even move my toes around as that hurts them. The last time I wore them, I swore I would never wear them ever again. And yet, here I am, nursing my hurt toes, and totally embarrassed and angry at myself for having been stupid enough to believe those pretty shoes. For having been stupid enough to go for style over substance. For having been stupid enough to not have learnt a lesson.
So much for pretty red shoes!

It is always her.

Major rant follows. These are my thoughts about an issue that really gets me all hyper and angry. Nita puts things in perspective objectively and coherently than I do here.

Is it OK to molest a girl just because she was passed out? Is a girl who parties and drinks with men inviting them to abuse her? If you do not go out and party, is it OK for you to blame the victim of a rape? Is it ever OK to rape a girl because you 'perceive' she has loose morals? We Indians seem to particularly enjoy attributing blame to a rape victim. This happens all the time.
Remember the Juhu new year incident where two girls were molested by a mob? What happened when the graphic images were shown on TV? Why were the girls 'roaming' around at that time? What were they wearing?
Remember the Mangalore pub incident? Again, the first reaction was what were the girls doing in a pub? Girls should not go to 'such places.'

There are psychologists and other 'experts' who are called on talk shows to talk about what the perpetrator feels and why such a crime takes place. What about what the victim feels? If you ask me, giving even a iota of thought to why the perpetrator committed the horror is wrong. There are no subtleties where rape is concerned. There cannot be any explaining away. If you are a person who tries to see reason in rape, you need to get your head checked. Maybe even stay away from women because then any woman talking to you would be a probable victim.

It seems like it is our national pastime to belittle women who are in difficult situations. It is always the girl who is inviting the perpetrator to abuse her.
Groped in a bus? Why were you wearing jeans?
Teased by the guys at the pan shop? Don't go there without male escort.
Look down when you are walking in a street or the gali ke kutte might think you want them to wink at you, make weird noises and touch you!

Election noises.

UPDATE: An anonymous reader pointed out that Shashi Tharoor never officially represented India at the UN and he is right. I am changing the text here to reflect that.

Election day is almost here and from tomorrow the mad voices of the politicians will be silent until the next election comes along.

Keeping with the times, I present a list of some of the more interesting things happening this election season:

• Mallika Sarabhai against Advani from Gandhinagar is an inspiring case. She was offered support by various political parties, but chose to remain independent. She is also raising a voice against CM Modi's government
• Shatrughan 'Shotgun' SInha vs Shekhar Suman from Patna Sahib is a very interesting contest. When asked about this Shotgun shot his mouth saying 'He is a TV artiste whereas I am a prominent name in the film world. People will compare our standing'!
• Parties using hi tech campaigning methods - SMS, Facebook groups, tweeting etc
• Need a few laughs? take a look at this webpage of Dr. Murli Manohar Joshi(I don't know if this is his official homepage!)
• Govinda(Chi Chi) apologized to the people of his constituency, Mumbai North, for being inaccessible for the entire duration of his tenure. Apparently, he has done literally nothing for his people. This is the second known case of a big actor failing in politics and quitting. The Big B being the first.
• Shashi Tharoor from Thiruvananthapuram for the Congress certainly seems very interesting. Since he has been in politics for some time(he was the UN Under Secretary General for quite some time), contesting the seat seems like a logical next step.
• After having been the so-called Nawab of Hyderabad and being accused of match fixing, politics seems like a logical next step also, for Azharuddin who is running from Moradabad(UP) for congress!(what is it with the congress and so many celebrities!)
• The never ending comedy that was Lucknow is finally coming to an end. Nafisa ali is the Samajwadi candidate from lucknow after the failure of SP to field Sanju baba first and Manyata-the-biryani-kabab-wife next. I guess we all feel 'Luck'y because at least Nafisa seems like a decent human being!
• SP manifesto's main agenda this time is to get rid of english as a medium of instruction and to thwart the advance of computers in the state. Really? IHM says this in her trademark conversational style!
• Both Varun and Rahul, it turns out, were not exactly truthful about their alma mater. Varun is not a graduate of the LSE, and bhaiya Rahul lied about what course and when he finished from Trinity College, Cambridge. It is so appalling really. First, they get into big name colleges because of their clout and money. Then they are so dumb that they cannot finish. Then they lie about it! I was really looking forward to seeing what kind of leadership Rahul would bring to the Congress. Now I am sure he is no different from the dumb netas they already have!
• Meanwhile, Mayawati continues to wield power like never before on her home turf. I am in awe of how she has the whole state machinery and the general populace wrapped around her little finger! Must learn some tricks from her!

Thoughts on a relaxed monday.

So many things are going on that make be go 'what the hell', these days.

• Bearded old perverted men beating a young girl for being seen with another man. All this, while her brother holds her down to be beaten!
  
• Two people of the same family(Nehru), one talking in a deplorable way about muslims, the other only coming out of his high society, faux-Indian life and visiting villages come during election time. How I wish Varun and Rahul actually put some thought before they act. They are both young(Varun more so), educated(they seem to be from good educational institutions), from a well respected family. If only they put the petty politicking away and for once, used their head?
• (But I guess expecting a politician to think is a little too much.)
• Hamid Karzai passing a law legalizing rape in marriages(well it is not even defined as rape anymore!) How disgusting is that?
• The US reprimanding countries that want to acquire nuclear and chemical weapons. History is witness that US is the only country in the world to have used nuclear as well as chemical weapons on other countries. And it is now concerned that these countries wanting to be nuclear powers as well would misuse them? How hypocritical is that? How does the US get away with all this?
  

My Favorite on TV

The day I have been dreaming of has come finally! HBO has started screening the BBC series of No. 1 ladies Detective Agency . My love for the books has been well documented here and I was curious as to how the well-written characters would translate on screen and the result could not have been better! Do watch it if you are interested. It is well worth the one hour per week.

Tremendous relief and back to regular blogging

Today I gave a Microsoft certification exam and passed. All these weeks(even months) of working hard(and staying away from blogging) paid off finally. Now back to regular blogging.

A fitness blog

I am part of a new fitness blog. Please do have a look at Fitness Fervor.